The other night, Wednesday specifically, I had a rage episode that, very unfortunately, was seen by and negatively affected some friends.� I was confronted about saying something earlier to one of the friends that hurt her feelings - I donapos;t know exactly what I said, but I know for sure and for certain that it was not intended to hurt her.� We were on our way to dinner and I was looking forward to it since this is a traditional dinner that this group has every year. I left to avoid the confrontation, and hopefully the scene of a rage episode, but it came on later in the night anyway.� I left for home and said some things on my way out that were hurtful, but because I hadnapos;t clarified that I was the one that i was angry with, my words hurt others.� Iapos;ve probably lost more friends.� Iapos;ve got to get help now.� Tinaapos;s afraid that Iapos;ll try to suicide again, and so am I, honestly though right now iapos;m okay and safe.� More than yesterday anyway.
Tina texted, then called, this morning - sheapos;s worried about me.� Iapos;m in much better shape than I was yesterday, but Iapos;m still in the shit.� I havenapos;t been outside my bedroom, except to take the pup out, since Thursday morning.� I finally ate a little bit this afternoon, but my stomach hurts too much to eat any more.� I did finally take a shower and shave - the most iapos;ve done in three days.� It felt good.� I finally have some focus in my eyes and the headache that Iapos;ve had since Wednesday night is finally waning a bit.� Iapos;ve been playing with my Cognitive Behavior Therapy exercises on my computer and they do seem to help a little.� I feel a little lighter this afternoon than I did this morning.� Iapos;m taking the dog for a road-trip to see my parents in Charlotte tonight, theyapos;re going back to the beach tomorrow so it will be my last chance to see them for a few weeks.� Maybe that will help.� Mom will make me eat, though.� ugh.� I really donapos;t want to eat.
One of the keys to CB Therapy is realizing where the bad thoughts originate and changing them - this will be a good opportunity to try my skills.� Letapos;s see if we can learn to throw a positive spin on things - odd that I have to try.� I used to be such an upbeat, positive person...Iapos;l recover that again.� Thatapos;ll be my promise to myself.� Positively positive...or at least strive until success is iminent.� That and to not let this journal become a whine fest, but a therapeutic tool and a way to express my feelings and thoughts.�� :-)
dodge truck pull, dayle hinman age, dayle hinman, dayle hayes, dayle haddon ryan haddon.
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